Turkey Trot
by ryokablade
Summary: Soul Society is celebrating Thanksgiving for the first time. You gotta cook the turkey, you gotta stuff the turkey, but first, you gotta CATCH the turkey! One-shot.
1. Chapter 1

Turkey Trot

_Even with a crappy gun, shoot a lot and you're sure to hit something. -_Millennium Earl.

Yeah, not a bleach quote, but it's true. You'll hit something....but not exactly what you want to hit.

Author's note: omg this is like 8+ pages. Enjoy! We don't own bleach, and if we did, this would actually happen!

* * *

"Nooo! Please stay still!" wailed Orihime, flapping her arms about.

"Gobble!"

The turkey flapped away from her squawking. Orihime had been chasing this particular turkey ever since she's gotten up. Of course, it was Thanksgiving, and what was Thanksgiving without a turkey?

Soul Society didn't have too much in terms of turkeys at the moment, because the few Rukongai farms who bred them were all out. This turkey was a large one, and it belonged on a platter. It was no ordinary turkey, besides being the largest and fattest, it was the ONLY turkey the Seireitei ordered into a little pen within the shinigami barracks. Orihime attempted another swipe at it, but it simply flapped out of harm's way.

"Nooo! I'll never catch it!"

"What is it Inoue?" Rukia appeared alongside her. She stopped short at the sight of the turkey.

"....are you trying to catch the turkey?"

"Yes! We need it for the feast!"Orihime took another grab and slipped onto her butt.

"GOBBLE GOBBLE!!!"

Rukia scratched her head. Surely it couldn't be _that_ hard....

"All right then, I'll try."

She snatched at it, but the gobbler ran away, bobbing its head awkwardly.

"Gobble!"

"Huh....I'll try again...."

This time Rukia dove at it, but the turkey pranced off, and Rukia crashed hard.

The turkey stopped at the sound of her falling, turned around, and it alamost seemed to smile as if mocking her.

Rukia frowned.

"Rukia! Are you okay?"

"Ow...I'm fine....I didn't know turkeys were so fast..."

"Oi, what's going on? We heard some noise."

Ichigo and Renji opened the pen door and came walking in.

"Ichigo! Renji! What are you doing?"

"Oh, Hisagi invited us to eat, but it turned out we were eating leftovers for Thanksgiving..."

"Leftovers?"

"That guy has no shame," snorted Renji. "he runs over to that fatso's house to eat his leftovers."

"Fatso?"

"Omaeda, who else?" Renji rolled his eyes. "anyways, what are you and Orihime doing?"

Rukia felt a little awkward.

"Catching a turkey."

Ichigo and Renji stared at her. Then the turkey. The fat, flightless turkey that stared dumbly at them.

And they burst into laughter.

"Aw, come on Rukia, it's not that difficult to catch chickens," snickered Renji.

"Shut up! It's not even a chicken!" retorted Rukia, embarrassed.

"So what? A turkey is an oversized chicken."Ichigo howled, "HA!!! You call youself a soul reaper?"

"No offense, but you guys are pretty pathetic-OW!" Rukia kicked Ichigo in the face.

"If you're so amazing, why don't you guys get it?!"

"Ow! You didn't have to do that! Thanksgiving you're supposed to be thankful....sheesh." growled Ichigo, but after seeing Rukia's legs tense up for another kick, he hastily added, "But I'll go, just to show you that it's not that hard."

Ichigo went up to the turkey.

"Come on, you stupid bird...." he made an attempt to grab, but the turkey pecked him hard, and he withdrew his arm hastily.

"Ow! This bird pecks hard!" He snatched at the bird, but it squawked, flapping away.

Renji laughed hard. "Ichigo, you can't even catch the stupid bird either! I'll do it, you idiots."

Yet for him too, the turkey just ran away.

"That turkey is so freaking fast!"

"Oh no! Now we can't have a turkey!" sobbed Orihime. Instantly the boys sweat dropped and tried to comfort her.

"Inoue....it's fine you know, it's just a turkey..."

"We can still have food. Thanksgiving isn't over...There's mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce and-"

"You jerks!" snapped Rukia. "You're making her cry! Now we are all going to catch that turkey!"

And so for about ten minutes, the four began chasing after the bird until joined by Uryu and Chad.

"Urrgh! I can't take this anymore!" snapped Ishida his patience growing thin at trying to grab a bird.

"Quincy arrow!"

"No Ishida! You're not supposed to kill the turkey like that!" yelled Rukia.

Chad had already activated his arm.

Suddenly Ishida released his arrow, and it headed straight towards the turkey.

And missed.

Ishida stared.

"Impossible....I can't miss that target! It's only a few feet off!"

Chad, with his arm tried grabbing it, but failed again.

"That's a good idea though!" Ichigo and Renji were following the same lines, and Ichigo hefted Zangetsu off his back.

"I'm going to get you, ya miserable turkey!"

"Howl! Zabimaru!"

They attacked together, arising a great storm of clouds and dust.

"ICHIGO! RENJI! YOU IDIOTS PROBABLY SQUASHED THE TURKEY! NOW THERE'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN ANYTHING LEFT TO ROAST!"

"GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!!!!" Ichigo swung Zangetsu at the turkey but missed, and ended up destroying half of the pen. "Uh...oops?"

The friends stared in shock as the clouds cleared, and the turkey glanced that the large opening and sprinted out of the pen and into the fields.

* * *

Suddenly, Ichigo saw something fluttering in the air...a hell butterfly?

"What? Is there some sort of emergency?" Rukia reached her hand out toward the hell butterfli.

"GOBBLE!!!" Ichigo twitched and snatched the hell butterfly, and shouted into it, "THIS IS AN EMERGENCY SITUATION!!!! THE ONE AND ONLY FAT TURKEY IN THE SEIREITEI hAS GONE LOOSE INTO THE FIELDS!!!! GRAB IT DAMN IT!!!! OR ELSE WE WON'T..."

"ICHIGO!!!" RUkia smacked his hand, making the hell butterfly carry away with its new message.

"What?!?!?!" Ichigo snorted

"Why did you..."

"GOBBLE GOBBLE!!!"

The friends turned toward the turkey...

"..."

"GET IT!"

And they charged.

* * *

"What's going on?! We heard that hell butterfly and...Ichigo, Renji, why-" Izuru, Isane, Iba, Matsumoto, and Hinamori rushed to see, and were caught off guard as a turkey brushed past them.

"GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL THAT DAMN TURKEY!"

"NO, I AM!"

"You guys, what's going on?!"

"Help us get that stupid-"

"GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

For a while, the lieutenants stared...

"Hey, you know what? I don't know about you guys, but I've been wanting some bird meat...." Iba drew his sword. Almost as if answering him, the other lieutenants stomachs rumbled.

"Are you sure..." Isane asked.

"But...the poor turkey..." Hinamori began.

Rangiku shook her head and sighed, "do we HAVE to do this, I mean, it's just a stupid bir..."

"GOBBLE!!!" The turkey pranced into the air and landed onto Rangiku's face, leaving behind a blob of droppings.

"ARG!!!" Rangiku shook her head and drew her sword, "DAMN YOU FREAKIN PILE OF....GROWL!!! HAINEKO!!!"

Rangiku roared and shunpo-ed after Ichigo and the otheres.

"Uh..." Isane began, but was interrupted by a loud rumble...

The gate behind them in the fields suddenly burst into pieces, and Ganju Shiba, along with his horde of pigs...er...wild boars came charging in.

"MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!!! THAT BIRD IS MINE!!!"

"Ahh!!! Run after the turkey!!!" Izuru screamed, drawing his sword.

"But the..." Hinamori began, but turned around and saw the barage of pigs...

"Ah...coming!!!"

And so the five new lieutenants and boars joined the chase.

* * *

Byakuya was waiting for the servants to finish cooking his own personal chicken. Well, it wasn't really a chicken, it was much larger, and came from the World of the Living in some country called...America. Oh well, the large chickens always took a long time to cook, and he had been enjoying the koi in his pond.

Until....

"GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

A very distressed turkey flapped over his wall, and ran off across his lawn.

Byakuya stared. Okay...that's not something you see everyday...

and then...

KABOOM!

"I AM SO SICK OF THIS!"

"NOO WAIT! THAT IS NII-SAMA'S-"

"BANKAI! HIHIO ZABIMARU!"

"RAISE YOUR HEAD WABISUKE!"

"Snap, Tobiume!"

"NEXT TIME KNOW WHO YOU'RE MESSIN WITH BEFORE YOU POOP ON 'EM!"

"HADOU NO SAN JYUU ICHI!!! SHAKKAHOU!"

And of course, the one that Byakuya heard particularly....

"BANKAI!!!! TENSA ZANGETSU!!!!"

And just like that, Byakuya's garden blew up in a matter of seconds.

Byakuya stared at the trespassers who had blown up his backyard, and they stared back at him.

"Erm...nii-sama," Rukia stuttered out.

"BYAKUYA! GET THE TURKEY BEHIND YOU!" yelled Ichigo, breaking the awkward silence.

Byakuya turned and was rammed in the rear by a fairly large chicken...er...turkey, did they call it?

Byakuya was about to either explode or walk away, when he heard a voice in his head.

"It's Thanksgiving after all....oh, I should tell you that these hoodlums blew up the...turkey...was it... you were going to eat later. I'm hungry too....so maybe you should try getting that turkey before those undeserving jerks take it," sounded Sebonzakura.

Well, even Byakuya had been eager for a turkey, so he turned dramatically, drawing his sword and facing the ill-fated bird.

"This shall end...Chire, Sebonzakura....."

The multitude of cherry blossoms swirled around everyone, and then, dove right towards the turkey.

"GOBBLE!"

and the turkey sprinted away from the cherry blossoms.

He stared in shock. How could a...turkey outrun his cherry blossoms?!

"Snicker..." Senbonzakura muffled in Byakuya's mind.

Ichigo ran past him, in his bankai outfit. Surprisingly, he even had his hollow mask on.

"GET THE TURKEY!"

And as if it was a cheer, everyone charged.

"GET THE TURKEY GET THE TURKEY GET THE TURKEY!" they chanted, releasing zanpakutos.

And Byakuya's pride had been stepped on by a _turkey_. Yes, that bird shall die, and it would be served on a fine silver platter!!!!

And he flash stepped after them.

* * *

Around the same time, the eleventh squad had run out of sake.

Of course, running out of sake is a very bad thing.

It makes them go wild, and do things they wouldn't normally do until they get more.

For them, it was like getting drunk before getting drunk.

Not that it made sense, being worded like that....but let's just say they were eager for some chaos.

Oh, and Yachiru had ruined their turkey earlier by putting caramel, toffees, peppermints, and gummy bears on it....and so they were also hungry.

Really, not good at all.

"Ken-chan! Let's go to the candy store!"

"Why?!" growled Zaraki. "You'll ruin the other stuff we had planned!"

"That's no fun Ken-chan!"

"Now we're going to have to get another turkey because of you!" snapped Zaraki.

"GOBBLE! GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

A turkey flapped past them. This particularly turkey from before had just lost its pursuers.

And gained another.

A very dangerous one.

A slow maniacal smile twisted Kenpachi's face.

"Well, speak of the devil....." Kenpachi's sword glittered in the daylight.

"Yay Ken-chan! Let's chase the turkey!"

"MHUHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!"

The uproar had reached the ears of Yumichika and Ikkaku, and they had begun setting plans.

Ikkaku was lying in wait for the gobbler about a few blocks away, and Yumichika also waited for it somewhere else.

"GOBBLE! GOBBLE GOBBLE!

"Extend...HYOUZUKIMARU!!!! Ah...." Ikkaku released his sword, but the turkey was faster. It jumped on top of Ikkaku's shiny head, and pecked at it a couple of times. "GET OFF!!" Ikkaku swung Hyouzukimaru and the turkey jumped off, and bit the end of his spear, refusing to let go.

Yumichika rushed over and almost laughed. Ikkaku was swinging his spear around in the air, with a large turkey holding on the other end.

"Ikkaku..you...HAHAHA!!!" Yumichika fell over laughing.

Ikkaku turned red with anger.

"Bankai!" screamed Ikkaku maniacally, "RYUMON HOZUKIMARU!"

Suddenly, before he could even attack, a giant burst of yellow light erupted close to him.

Well actually, not close.

VERY close.

"TURKEY, YOU'RE MINE!" Zaraki appeared, his eyepatch off, and he cackled, slashing. The place exploded.

Zaraki hadn't seen Ikkaku with his bankai, and Ikkaku sadly went flying.

Zaraki unfortunately, also blew away the turkey. The turkey hunt was still going on, but Yumichika was still waiting.

He smirked, watching the turkey come closer after being blown away. He had connected Zaraki's reiatsu with the turkey being here but....he very badly wanted a turkey. Badly enough to try to take away the prize from shinigami/quincy/humans.

"Split and Deviate, Ruri-iro Kujaku."

Yumichika's zanpakuto stretched out vines, yet the extremely fast turkey somehow evaded them, gobbling all the while. Suddenly, the turkey stopped. "Gotcha!!" Yumichika sent a wine at the turkey. But, the turkey opened its beak and began to curiously chew on the vine.

"HEY!!!"Yumichika shouted, making the bird gobble away again. He twitched, feeling predatory reiatsus out for blood. With a curse, he changed back his zanpakuto. He would have to do this manually.

* * *

Now, back to the original mob, which had swelled up to ten times its size. Ukitake, Nanao, Kyoraku, Kiyone and Sentarou had joined the hunt, and so had Hisagi, Sasakibe, Omaeda, Hantarou, and even Nemu and Mayuri. And every single one wanted turkey, the ONLY turkey.

"Akeiro Hisagomaru!"

"Reap...Kazeshini!"

Omaeda was smashing everything _but_ the turkey, which was pretty pathetic.

Nemu was merely rallying everyone to catch it.

Kiyone and Sentarou were merely bickering on who would present it to their captain, and Ukitake and Kyoraku were in hot pursuit.

"Very well!" smirked Mayuri. "BANKAI!"

Instantly the swollen monstrous head of his zanpakuto swelled up.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU'LL KILL US ALL!"

"YOU'LL MAKE THE TURKEY INEDIBLE!"

"YOU CALL YOURSELF A SCIENTIST?!?!?!?!"

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

"CATCH THAT TURKEY!"

"GET IT BEFORE MAYURI'S POISONS DO!"

"HURRY!"

"SHUNKO!"

and Yoruichi and Soifon came in.

"MOVE!!!" Yoruichi shouted smiling, "That bird it MINE!!! You want it, you gotta beat me to it Soifon!!"

Soifon sneered,"Sting all enemies to death, Suzumebachi!"

They blew through everyone and everything, yet...even the goddess of flash Yoruichi...could not catch the gobbler.

"GOBBLE! GOBBLE GOBBLE! GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

Seireitei was in ruins.

And yet....of course we still have more captains!

"BANKAI! DAIGUREN HYOURINMARU!"

Ice shards hammered at the turkey, and it screeched running around wildly.

Toushirou landed, and he leaped into the air again, firing like crazy.

"Taicho!!! You'll shatter the stuipd bird!!!" Rangiku maoned.

"TENKEN!"

A giant samurai reared up into the sky, and Komamura joined the chase, bringing his sword down and smashing everything. Buildings, walls, gardens fell down in its wake, yet it wasn't enough to take down that single turkey.

* * *

"My goodness, you guys are pathetic!" Everyone stopped swinging their zanpakutos.

The zanpakuto spirits materialized.

"Seriously, you old hag, can't even catch a turkey? I always said you were gaining weight!" cackled Haineko.

"Kuchiki, you make me ashamed tohave you as a master," snapped Senbonzakura.

"We will catch it, master," said Hyourinmaru calmly.

"You guys suck! But it's amusing!" laughed Suzumebachi, doing back flips around Soifon.

"Yay! Yay! Let's play, let's play! Catch the birdie!! Catch the birdie!!" chanted Sogyo no Kotowari, dropping down on top of the turkey. That was easily the closest anyone had yet to catch it, but the turkey squawked and ran out from under them, running off.

"You stupid idiot, catch that turkey!" snapped Katen Kyotsu to Kyoraku, who stopped laughing promptly at the sight of the two.

"Idiot, you ain't usin' me properly," groused Kazeshini, and without waiting for an answer from Hisagi, sped off.

Wabisuke, Tenken, Gonyoumaru, Minazuki and Hyouzukimaru also materialized, and without saying a word to their masters, also ran off.

"Kuchiki Rukia, allow me," said Sode no Shirayuki. "We will all get that turkey."

"Gyeeh! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!"Ichigo roared and jumped back.

"What are you talking about Ichigo? It looks like you could use a little help," replied Zangetsu.

"I don't mean you! I mean _him_!" yelled Ichigo, pointing to his hollow self, who cackled.

"Happy ta see me?"

"NO!"

"Huh, you can beat arrancar, but not a turkey? Pathetic. Come on, stupid old man, let's go!" smirked Hollow Ichigo.

Zangetsu looked at Ichigo and sighed.

"What?"

Zangetsu coughed, "You know, when you're upset, it rains in my world..."

Ichigo frowned, "I know..."

Zangetsu raised an eyebrow, "I just discovered that not being able to catch a turkey causes thunderstorms..."

Ichigo stuttered, "He-he..sorry old man..."

Tobiume appeared, bells sounding, and she also, ran off alongside Hinamori, firing fireballs at the turkey, who seemed to dodge them all.

"Stupid master, can't even catch a birdie!" Snakey stuck out his tongue.

"SHUT UP!" growled Renji.

Monkey smirked. "Fine, just wait until we show it to ya! We won't even offer a little bit to you!"

And the zanpakuto charged.

For all their tries, the turkey evaded all of them.

Ice blasted, blizzards blew, masonry cracked, wood splintered, chunks of bricks, cements, stones flew everywhere, houses were demolished, and the turkey still ran.

Sode no Shirayuki created ice pillars, except several of her pillars would miss the turkey, and instead hit someone else. The others were faring little better.

Shirayuki grew impatient, and send a Hakuren blindly in her wake.

"KURO GETSU...GAHHHH!!!!" Hollow Ichigo slipped on the ice and crashed into Bonnie's butt.

"OY!!! Watch it buddy!!!" Ganju shouted.

"TAKE THIS!!!" Kazeshini swung his weapon at the bird, which ended up wrapping around a tree instead, and the long chain ended almost tripped Hyourinmaru. Hyourinmaru stopped in his tracks, and the sudden stop made Gegetsubri crash into him.

"Sode no Shirayuki!!!" Rukia felt like twitching.

Shirayuki raised an eyebrow, "Hmf, just be glad that you won't be having a bird popsicle for dinner..."

"HAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" Gegetsuburi thrust his weapon at the bird, ignoring the shouts of protests from the others, "DON'T SQUOOSH IT YOU DUMBASS!!!!"

He missed, and his mace went flying toward Haineko. "EEE!!!!!"

Haineko went flying over a couple of buildings.

"Reign over the frozen..." Hyourinmaru began, but was interrupted by a, "CATCH THE FAT BIRDIE!!!!!" by the zanpakuto twins, who merrily jumped off into the sky after the turkey, using Hyourinmaru's head as a footstool.

The turkey stopped in its tracks, attracting the attention of four zanpkauto. Zangetsu came charging head on from the front, Sode no Shirayuki came from the right, Senbonzakura came from the back, and Hyourinmaur came charging from the left.

"HYAAAAA..." The trukey heard this shout, and ducked, running thourgh Seonbonzakura's legs.

"What the-" The zanpakuto looked up from the trukey, and the four of them went head on crashing into each other, resulting in a large pile.

"Ug....sorry about that..." Hyourinmaru moaned, who was on the top of the pile.

Sebonzakura coughed and Zangetsu sighed, "I dislike fat birds..."

"I can't believe that we can't even catch a turkey, I mean seriously..." Senbonzakura shook his head.

Zangetsu smiled.

"Ahem..." The 3 male zanpakutos looked down and saw that they were sitting on someone.

Sode no Shirayuki was at the bottom of the pile.

"M-my apologies!!" They said, slightly embarrassed for sitting on top of Soul Society's most beautiful zanpkauto. They quickly got off and tried to help her up.

The mad chaos continued, everyone was injured by the attacks from their comrades...leaving the turkey, not possessing a single scratch.

* * *

"My, my, what's going on?" a soft voice sounded in front of them.

TThe horde of shinigami and their zanpakutos skidded to a stop, as Unohana stepped forward.

The turkey just assumed it was another stupid shinigami, and charged past.

Then it stood stock still.

Unohana gave the gobbler a chilling glare along with her gentle smile, which made its feathers stand on end.

The mob of shinigami and zanpakuto pounced toward the dumb bird, and instead.... they landed on Unohana.

"T-taicho!!!" Isane and Hanataro ran over and began to pull people off of the pile.

It was not going fast enough, so Unohana smiled with her eyes closed, and slowly opened them whispering, "PLease get off of me..."

With that, everyone pounced off in 2 seconds flat.

But of course, the chaos....became ten times worse.

* * *

It had been easy to track the vast amount of recognizable spirit force wreaking havoc that had destroyed almost half of Seireitei. He wondered what in the world was going on. Couldn't there be a little peace on Thanksgiving?! After all, it was their first time celebrating a non-Japanese holiday from the world of the living.

And as he got to where the cluster of spiritual pressure, something brushed his leg.

A turkey?

"HE GOT AWAY!"

"ONE MORE TIME!"

And the last thing Head Captain Yamamoto saw was a tsunami of soul reapers and zanpakuto spirits using their strongest attacks and all screaming their heads off.

"What the? I demand to know what is goiong-----oof!!!"

Yamamoto was immediately trampled by the hoard of wild shinigami and zanpakuto.

He tried to regain his stance, he shouted, "I SAID I DEMAND TO KNOW WHA..."

"Yahoooee!!!!!!!!!!" Ganju and his gourp of boars came charging at the speed of light, over the rocks and over the ice, over the bushes, and apparently, over Yamamoto.

Yamamoto stood up and his face turned red with fury. He turned toward his subordinates and...

"Reduce All Creation to Ash, RYUUJIN JAKKA!" bellowed Yamamoto, though however dramatic he was, the swarm of people mobbing him somewhat muffled his shikai command.

But, for some reason, his sword did not release.

"What?" Yamamoto stared. He heard a voice in his head, "Sorry, can you repeat that? I couldn't hear you..."

Yamamoto shook with anger, and with full power he shouted, "REDUCE ALL CREATION TO AHSES!!! RYUUJIN JAKKA!!!!"

Nevertheless, that was enough, and the rest of Seireitei exploded into flames. Shinigami and Zanpakuto spirits flew in all sorts of directions.

And after that one blast of fire, next to Yamamoto lay a perfectly roasted turkey.

* * *

"Man.....that was so tiresome!" yawned Ichigo, sprawled out on the sofa. They were waiting for the turkey to be finished cooking, to be garnished and stuffed and all that extra things that are added. Not to mention the gravy.

"You know....we're pretty pathetic. We've gotta train harder," mumbled Renji.

"Yeah."

"Say, who's cooking the turkey?" piped up Rukia. "Nii-sama was very disappointed. He was supposed to have one all for himself."

Hanatarou, hugging a pillow rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I think...it was Inoue-san...."

"NANI??!?!?!?!?!"

"Mmm," that looks great!" smiled Ukitake, staring at the feast that had started seconds ago. Grace had already been said, and everyone, including the captains and lieutenants, were ready to dig in. However, none of the weary and starving shinigami noticed that the turkey was an odd, sickly color "I can't wait!"

And everyone took a huge bite, just as Ichigo, Renji, Rukia, and Hanatarou burst in, screaming, "DON'T EAT THE FOOD!"

Too late.

* * *

_Epilogue_

"GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

"GET BACK HERE!!!!"

"Got ya!"

"No! He got away!"

"..."

"Death Breath!"

"You stupid idiot! You won't leave any meat on our feast if you use that!"

"Don't use a bala blast either idiot! You'll blow it all up!"

"GRAN REY CERO!!!!"

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL ARE YOU DOING???"

"We can at least get rid of some feathers!!!!"

"Resurrection Murcielago."

"Destroy, Ira."

"No you thick-head! You'll squash all of us, forget the turkey!"

"Desgarron!"

"Arrgh, you hit me!"

"If any of you bring the gobbler to me in an inedible condition, I'll maul you! That's the only turkey in Hueco Mundo!"

"Shut up, tank head! Try doing some work yourself, won't ya?!"

"What did you call me, pink pumpkin butt?!"

Aizen face palmed at the chaos. He'd been amassing an army strong enough to take down Soul Society....and yet a gobbler that was supposedly destined to be on the menu to go with his tea was dodging all their Sonido.

"Aw, don't feel too bad," Gin appeared smiling. "After all, they're gettin' quite the workout ain't they?

Aizen twitched and moaned, "That is the last time we are attempting to celebrate something foreign.."

* * *

**Author's Note: Well, there you go, the Turkey Trot!!! Hope you enjoyed and please review, and...**

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

Hiya! Just updating this so that more people can get a look at this! Sorry that this is pretty much and author's note, but we'll delete this bit after thanksgiving. :P


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